JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED TO JUDGE OR NOT TO JUDGE ARE YOU BEING JUDGMENTAL?
I HOPE SO!
The many definitive aspects of our natural born and selective judgmental abilities is an inborn instinctive tool, used to protect us from harm, from being used or abused and for selecting everything in life which makes us at peace with others and ourselves.
You will find others who, when you are being selectively judgmental about something or someone or for that matter they themselves, will accuse you of being judgmental, and with that one sweeping statement can confine you to oblivion allowing them to carry on being obviously thoughtless or downright rude.
Through our teaching and especially our Christian teaching it is almost a sin to judge anything or anybody, because we have it conditioned into consciousness, "to judge not lest ye be judged."
It is absolutely cockeyed to think that we cannot, should not , and by practice , will not judge at some future date. All our senses are geared to tell us by smell or sight , or even by intuition, who we meet will be a harbinger of doom or distress for us, or on the other hand will bring us joy and peace in our lives. We select and choose or make decisions on the qualities of this or that person. These are all judgements.
More often the downside of judging is thought to be when one thinks this person is bad for a particular reason and in most cases it is because the understanding of good and evil is not quite so well thought through by us or that he has bad habits, or at least habits which you don't have, and or habits which you don't like.
It is these personal cases that judging is good because the basic principle behind judging is that we are in fact seeing ourselves in that other person. We are seeing things about ourselves which we have suppressed, overcome, or just plain don't like in ourselves, therefore as the song from My Fair Lady goes, "Why can't she/he be more like me.."
Just because we see and admit to the quality judged in another, does not mean that we cannot use it to suit our purpose of the moment, for here we are asserting our preferences for a type of behaviour which will please us.
We have controlled it in ourselves and do not abuse others by this "named" behaviour, so why then should this person not control their behaviour also?
Once you have pointed out your preference for behaviour in others, it is then up to the both of you whether a rational level of acceptance can be attained. To believe because of your conditioning that judgment is wrong is nothing more than putting a limitation on your selective abilities.
I know people who allow themselves to be abused because it is wrong for them to place a judgment on the other's behaviour; (there are many other reasons also) consequently abuse continues. It is only by pointing out differences that cannot be accepted, that two or more people can arrive at an amenable solution.
Judgment is good it is natural and it solves problems. Do not frustrate yourself by burying your need to allow the safety valve of judgment to surface.
It is when you care nothing for this world that "ye will judge not" In the state of Moksha this world does not exist, except as a fully realized dream, therefore what is there to judge about shadow forms, which hold no reality for you.
Even the greatest of Gnanis such as Ramana Maharshi, judged the bad behaviour of his kitchen staff for not serving the untouchables coffee at breakfast along with the others, His punishment for them was to not drink his own coffee. He did without his coffee, along with the untouchables.
When the staff caught on, the untouchables were also served, Ramana drank, the staff had a silent lesson, and all ran smoothly from then on.
We do not accumulate that power of adulation which would make a group of people recognize , by the example of their guru, a total behavioral change, so we, being lesser beings, must use our selective abilities to point up what we think are wrongdoings in others when it crosses over to create dissonance in our lives.
Just remember , while doing so, know that you have those qualities also perhaps hidden, or controlled, but none the less they are there. Talking it out helps. So when someone tells you , you are being judgmental well of course you are, but they are copping out by saying it. They are not taking responsibility to adjust or change . The reverse holds true also.
We have all been rude to others so we know what it is, and in knowing its course it is so easy to see others succumbing to it. To recognize that is a judgement. To accept the rudeness of others and suffer for it, makes you out to be a victim. It is quite in order to let someone know their rudeness is out of place. They may cry "You're being judgmental", that perennial cop out for the blind or proud, but nonetheless you have made your point. Hopefully if you make the same mistake and someone points it out to you, you will take it to heart and modify your behaviour.
We are a social animal with herd instincts. We like to gather in groups. Be they large or small, yet nonetheless the few that prefer to be unsociable, have no need to take their deep rooted unhappiness out on others by being rude. We usually hurt others because we are unhappy ourselves. Knowing that, it becomes easy to see that sadness being expressed by someone else. Our empathetic nature goes out to them, still recognition of their bad behaviour should be brought to the surface and into the open .
In Yoga, everyone is our teacher, so if someone is being judgmental of us I always look upon it as the Atman in them is speaking to the Atman in me. We are one after all, made divisible by the illusion of Maya.
So you want to judge? Let it rip. Go ahead, it's alright. Being over judgmental, or picky can become a bore for others, so it becomes a fine line of self recognition when we make a judgment.